Managing a family and a business is challenging enough but managing a family working in a business together is even more difficult. The professional relationships we have with our co-workers is so important to the business dynamic. When we add that deep personal element a situation can quickly perceived as a personal attack.

My family all work in our business - husband, 2 sons and a daughter and soon my daughter in law. We all have complimentary skills which is really fantastic but sometimes the recognition of that skill is diminished as the one-up-man-ship of the family dynamic comes into play. Take for example the situation we had this week where 2 of my family members were working on a particular outcome without consultation with the workers/family members who were using the system. This happened because of a lack of recognition of the value the others could bring to the situation and was directly linked to a personal attitude and not a professional one.

When I realised what was happening, I talked to each of the individuals involved until a common understanding was reached. That old chestnut "communication" really does work.

I don't believe this will be the last time something like this happens however we can control the way we approach it. My advice is:

• arrange a time to talk when you aren't too tired
• do not point the finger in an accusatory manner
• really listen to each person's point of view
• allow them to talk until they are finished
• speak quietly
• do not be derogatory in your comments
• link the behaviour to the outcome and make sure they understand how the behaviour affects the business outcomes
• always make sure they understand how much you value their contribution

Follow these suggestions and most problems can be worked through in a professional manner.