Well the last week has been spent strategic planning with a group in Singapore. Currently I am situated in an apartment building 26 floors above ground level overlooking the city. They look after you well and the city itself is very dynamic.

Singaporeans have a very intense way of dealing with business. Work days start early and finish late. Clients are constantly entertained and business is touted over meals, shows and golf. Although we do this in Australia, America and the UK, it is not as intense. Many of us have set working days and clients are entertained in a much more informal way.

Singaporeans are extremely competitive and businesses do whatever they have to do to climb their way to the top. This is a very male dominated culture and family dynasties are abundant. If you know someone who knows someone else, your future is assured.

Strategic planning is always best done away from the office environment and Singapore has proven an interesting location. You get to bond with your co-workers and think outside your home square. Many people forget that working on the business is just as important as working in the business. If you don’t take the time out to plan then your business runs the risk of stumbling along without direction or a destination or worst still going in the wrong direction.

Strategic planning means looking at your long term goals and strategies and determining the best pathway to get there. It is almost impossible to do when you are working day to day as they require two different modes of thinking. I highly recommend all strategic planning is done out of the office and Singapore is just one of many fabulous locations to visit.

A few nights ago I had the wonderful pleasure of speaking to a group of women living in Kununurra, a small but vibrant town in North West WA. These women were from all walks of life, farming, tourism, mining, young mothers, civil servants and business owners. I was fascinated to listen to some of the issues they had to face living in a remote location.

The issue of indigenous people and how they are labelled and fit into our society was very much a topic close to their hearts. A young indigenous woman next to me commented on how she was unable to progress in the company for which she worked because the general attitude was that as a young, female, “black” person she could not possibly have the skills to manage a team.

I am always amazed in this day and age about how labelling still defines how people deal with us. Haven’t we gone past this? It was obvious from my conversation with this young woman that she was intelligent, articulate and had a lot to offer. How is it that some people can’t see past the exterior to the person within? Sure, there are a lot of problems with our indigenous population but surely harnessing this young woman’s energy to help solve the issues should be seen as a priority. Instead she was lumped in the same box with those who have the problems. And as an indigenous person, a woman and young single mother she also had more than one label.

Many of us deny we have a prejudice however in reality it is still there, alive and kicking. My observation is that each of us needs to work our where we fit in relation to those around us. Conversely we also need to understand how others fit in the same picture. To do that we seem to create boxes with labels and with those labels come the stereotypes. We qualify and judge according to our own set of circumstances and knowledge. It’s like putting on a pair of glasses with tint. Everything is coloured by what has come before. However that doesn’t make it right and certainly doesn’t make it a smart thing to do. What a shame for both the company and the young woman because both miss out on a potentially fabulous partnership.

Each of us has a unique story, skills and abilities. If you can draw that out of those around you the rewards are numerous. Don’t be influenced by common misconceptions and prejudices. You will gain more friends, have successful business and engage loyal employees by truly making an effort to listen and learn about the individual, not the label.

Women are suckers for guilt. We feel guilty about wanting to have children, not wanting to have children, hurting other peoples’ feelings, neglecting the house, the husband, the family and our friends. We make ourselves feel like we should be everything to everyone and then set out to make it happen and wonder why we feel resentful.

The same thing happens in our work environment. We want to do a great job, not rock the boat and be the best we can possibly be however many of us feel guilty about wanting something more. We doubt ourselves as we examine possible competitors for management positions and look at how others around us are doing. We are then not only wracked with guilt but our self-esteem has taken a battering.

Why should they pick me when Mary would do a much better job and besides that how would they manage without you. …..And before you know it we have talked ourselves out of going for the job at all. Meanwhile Bob has applied, completely oblivious to the fact that we have agonized at all! Competition is natural to men.

I have seen this happen so many times it is now not a joke. Roughly 12% of women today are in senior management  and it isn’t because women don’t want the positions -  one of the reasons is because they don’t know how to get there and still feel good about themselves.

A business acquaintance and I were out to lunch and one of her work colleagues came into the restaurant. The first thing my lunch partner did was turn to me and say ‘Goodness me, look at what she is wearing, what a tart!’. As the woman walked by, I looked at her in amazement. She was dressed in a tasteful skirt, knee length with a lovely fitted jacket and had obviously taken great care to present herself appropriately. My companion then went on to tell me about how this girl had slept her way into an executive position in her company. It turns out that she had only been there 2 years and had been steadily rising through the ranks courtesy of a series of opportunities given to her by the CEO. My lunch partner's manager should supposedly have got that particular opportunity, however, what chance did he have with that ‘tart’ sleeping around?

A couple of weeks later, I had to meet with an executive in my friend's company. Low and behold, it was ‘the tart', otherwise known as Amy. After a few hours of working with Amy, I realised just how intelligent she was and over the next few weeks, my respect grew and we became friends. I asked her how she liked working for the company and she told me that the work was fantastic but many of her colleagues were giving her the cold shoulder since she was promoted. She said that she thought that was the Australian way and that all executives were cold-shouldered.

Amy had spent her entire time at work building her credibility and the company profile but, while doing this, her colleagues perceived her closeness to the all-male CEO and executive team as a ploy to promote herself. Her success made them feel inadequate and the rumours followed.

It seems that this is a common theme in many organisations with women either perceived as tarts or butch and success attributed to either of these characteristics. What we are practicing though is the age-old practice of burn the tall poppy, and it can happen to women or men. However, when females become involved, it somehow always seems to end up with personal connotations.

I have often experienced this but most recently after I won theTelstra WA Business Woman of the Year award. A colleague went out of her way to try and make me feel uncomfortable and unworthy of the award. A simple act of jealousy for not having been recognised herself!  Because I didn't react in the way she expected, a second campaign reared its ugly head. A series of nasty rumours was started to try and make others question my success. It is lucky that I have belief in myself and strategies to overcome this blot.

A Tall Poppy is a person who achieves above average success and Tall Poppy Syndrome is the act of ‘cutting’ down that person through use of vicious rumours, sarcasm, jokes and publicly undermining the success they have achieved. Much of this is done in a joking way but can be damaging in the extreme. It is rife in organisations everywhere (not just Australia) and one of the most aggravating habits in which people engage. It almost seems that some people resent or envy any achievement and can only cope by ‘knocking’ the successful person down a peg or two.

Just remember that others do recognise honesty and integrity and people like this have none.  Don't try a tit-for-tat method to get even. Your reputation will only be safe if you act in an ethical manner.

Today I woke up feeling a little tired which caused me to reflect on one the major causes of overload to women. As I have spoken about numerous times before, women tend to take on the problems of those around them and I am totally guilty of this habit. I swear I have a sign on my forehead labelled "TELL ME". I do however acknowledge that I inadvertently encourage this behaviour. It makes me feel good, wanted and loved to help someone out. So what happens when I need a break and because of my past habits I still get people DUMPING (as it now feels) on me?

Well I have learnt that there needs to be clear boundaries in place. When I first realized that I was the cause of my own problem, I started to analyse how to cope with it. I now have systems in place to give ME some space and guess what? The world didn't come crashing down!

So here are a couple of tips for giving you a little ME time:

1. Phone - I don't answer my house phone after 8pm at night and before 8am in the morning. I also screen callers on my mobile so I only take an emergency call. People get into the habit of calling you when they know you are available.

2. Your family and friends are important but it is just as important for you to have some time to yourself. Take time to relax, read, grab a massage or whatever else tickles your fancy. You deserve it!

3. Employees can be friends but make sure there are clear boundaries about your conversation outside of work hours. I myself make sure that my employees respect my private time and understand that although they are important to me that I need that time to recharge so I can be a better employer.

4. Learn to say no! - This is a hard one for most women including me. I find it especially hard with those closest to me. I had to stand looking into a mirror and practice saying no until I felt comfortable with it. Saying no doesn't mean you don't care.

I absolutely believe that you are no good to anyone if you don't look after yourself whether it be physically or mentally. Take the time today to look after U!